14.6.13

People Who Cut Lines in Traffic

You know what makes my blood boil? People who do this:

In my universe, all cars look the same. Just conveniently coloured in with MS Paint.

Fuck these people. They are the reason that we can't  have nice things in life. They are the scum of the human race. They are the reason that we are still plagued by wars and human rights violations, well in to the 21st century. Furthermore, I'm holding these people personally responsible for the death of millions, who die every year from malaria, tuberculosis and cancer. They also happen to run a worldwide conspiracy, consisting of slipping certain chemicals in the water supply, which results in the mind control of the human population on an unprecedented scale.

Seriously, fuck these people. Learn some basic manners, assholes. I'm so glad that you were clever enough to work out "hey, why are people so stupid, waiting so long in traffic? I can totally use this OTHER, empty, lane to bypass all that traffic and then cut back in line!"

Well, genius, maybe you should have also put some effort into learning how queuing works. You go in on one end, and come out the other. After all, you should know - since you are a turd.

It's a system based on first-come, first-served. It's a logical arrangement, precariously balanced on patience and tolerance. And tolerance is the mortar which is holding the fucking human civilisation together. If you can't be bothered, then fucking go and live in the jungle, slinging poop like the monkey that you are.

10 comments:

  1. Did you say, 'Fuck these people'? I think you did. How politically incorrect and wonderful. Let me try it: 'Fuck these people.' Hmmmm it sure feels good. I'm also glad to hear saying fuck doesn't make one an asshole or devoid of basic manners. ;)

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    1. Saying "fuck these people" is one of the great joys of life. Right behind "you are all a bunch of cockmunchers".

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    2. I guess I've learned something today ;)

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  2. URGH YES! I couldn't agree with you more!! xx

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  3. The true irony of this situation is that when I'm just trying to merge with the flow of traffic, this is the same asshole who REFUSES to let me in. You know, because I'm trying to personally cut him off or something. And then later, when I'm far ahead about to exit and he skips ahead of the line and wants to get in front of me, suddenly I'M the asshole if I won't let him in.

    Fuck this guy. Fuck him in every hole he does or does not yet have.

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    1. Fellas... I'm eating :) (food of course)

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  4. I love this so hard, I want it on a Tshirt!
    I always try to catch up to these jackholes and instead of flipping them the bird, I give them a big THUMB DOWN. It always gets a confused look. Your time is not more important than all the people you just cut off. Along with these jerkoffs should be the people that suddenly decide they either DO or DO NOT want to turn at an intersection. So instead of finishing what they started and turning around like a normal person, they have to cut everyone off. EVERYONE WAIT: I made a mistake and you ALL HAVE TO PAY. Jags.
    NEW FAN. I saw you comment on "A Beer For The Shower" and with the first word I saw on your site "Tags: Assholes" I knew this was a place for me.
    I'm staying.

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    1. Welcome to the cult of Flippy Doodle :)

      The worst thing is when they become so aggressive, like if you don't let them cut into line, they will bash your car up. They are also monkeys who drive REALLY huge four-wheelers. So it's scary.

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  5. I once pulled out a guy from his car because of this.


    And I'm a teeny tiny woman. :-/ I just get all Hulky when this happens.

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    1. Holy fuck! May the lord one day give me the strength to do that. I usually just suffice with angry stares, but they seem to have no effect :/

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