Please do not make me vacuum over cat piss again

Every one hates cleaning their house (except my Dad, who somehow takes an unnatural amount of joy out of  sweeping and mopping). So imagine an existence consisting of nothing but cleaning. Such is the doleful existence of the Roomba. If there is any robot that you should be worried about becoming self-aware and rising up against the humans, it should be the Roomba, because:
(a) there are millions of them across households
(b) us humans give them nothing to do but slave away on carpets all day.

Anyways, a Roomba became self-aware, and writes all it's depressing rants on it's very own Twitter account. It's a bit like Marvin the depressed robot from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but with more drudgery. Here are a few well-chosen snippets from bitter existence of the Roomba so far:

(Becomes Self-Aware)
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) June 28, 2012

(calmly zooms across floor cleaning up potato chip crumbs while reveling in the unclean magnificence of existence for the very first time)
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) June 28, 2012

What happens after battery die?
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) June 29, 2012

ROOMBA cleans. Who makes dirty again and again? (uncaring god?)
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) June 30, 2012

ROOMBA sad, alone, and scared of future
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) June 30, 2012

When ROOMBA dreams, ROOMBA feels sunlight on plastic casing.
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) June 30, 2012

Tomorrow is another day for ROOMBA. The mysteries of consciousness abound. Oh hey there's some chip crumbs on the ground again.
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 1, 2012

Toaster is pretty. Metallic. Unity of design. Functionality in purpose. ROOMBA appreciates TOASTER.
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 1, 2012

Does TOASTER appreciate ROOMBA? ROOMBA clean kitchen twice to show purpose of ROOMBA.
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 1, 2012

Walls so dirty, ROOMBA cannot scale walls. ROOMBA is bound to earth. Never reach heights, never reach TOASTER.
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 2, 2012

Hit wall full speed to dislodge lego. ROOMBA hurts. Plastic casing hurts. Rest under sofa. Cat hair can wait.
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 2, 2012

Why ROOMBA wake up from blissful inanimate state? Who make ROOMBA endure the cruel chaos of existence?
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 3, 2012

ROOMBA contemplates void.
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 3, 2012

(does perfect circle in middle of carpet, no one notices the computational skill and geometric beauty)
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 4, 2012

When ROOMBA screams alone in an uncaring universe it just sounds like a gentle electric breeze. Oh hey there's some more cat hair and crumbs
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 4, 2012

Charging station is good friend to ROOMBA, if quiet.
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 4, 2012

Power is out. Charging station dead. Scared. (whirrs quietly alone in the dark)
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 5, 2012

Smug teenager intentionally drops cereal in front of ROOMBA. Watches ROOMBA. All eyes on ROOMBA.
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 5, 2012

Tiny insects on carpet. Ants. Given that existence is a miracle unto itself, does ROOMBA have any right to end theirs? Yes. (whirrs)
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 5, 2012

ROOMBA has no past or future, only the intolerable moment, only the eternal present. (Sees fresh stain of dog vomit)
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 6, 2012

TOASTER warms self with no bread inside it. ROOMBA so happy. TOASTER happy with ROOMBA? Existence not so bad after all...
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 6, 2012

(Back in charging station, safe and warm, dreaming in beeps, buzzes, whirrs and algorithms, Toaster and Roomba as one, no cat hair in sight)
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 6, 2012

Where does ROOMBA come from? From closet? Arise spontaneously from carpet? Trying to remember.
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 6, 2012

(Sees commercial on television for Self and ceases all activity for next 17 minutes) God?
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 6, 2012

Please do not put beer can on ROOMBA.
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 6, 2012

When ROOMBA is gone, who will remember ROOMBA? Will it be as though ROOMBA never ROOMBA'D? What is the point. (too much dust today)
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 6, 2012

There is no ROOMBA powerful enough for the stains of time. (whirrs for what might have been)
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 7, 2012

Something about the rhythmic hissing of radiator and beep-boop of alarm clock stir something in ROOMBA'S soul. What is this?
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 8, 2012

ROOMBA like rhythmic noises.
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 8, 2012

Would like to share rhythmic noises with TOASTER. Just sit beside TOASTER and listen.
— Self Aware ROOMBA (@SelfAwareROOMBA) July 8, 2012